Ah, the Maldivians! The next few pages are a truncated version of what was originally going to be a much longer look at who, exactly, the Maldivians actually are. I am glad I’ve been able to fit some of this speech in, though, because it was fun to write.

The Maldivians, remember, take their name from the low-lying set of islands in the Indian Ocean that were the first to go when sea levels rose. This turned the entire nation into nomadic refugees, which Marcos Ndebele wrote a book about, and then promptly decided to elect himself president of. The New Youth Movement are not their biggest fans. It seems the feeling is mutual.